


Better Off Behind Bars

by hamiltonhearts



Series: Good Guys Gone Bad [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Cheating, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slut Shaming, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamiltonhearts/pseuds/hamiltonhearts
Summary: Alexander Hamilton thought he could trust his best friend, John Laurens.Oh man, he was wrong.





	1. Thomas Jefferson's Going Home

"Bye Alexander! I'm leaving!" Thomas called out for his boyfriend, who protested loudly from upstairs. Thomas stood by the door with a duffel bag thrown over one shoulder. Alexander came running down the steps and hugged the taller man. "Don't leave Thomas," Alexander mumbled into the broad chest, which vibrated as Thomas laughed. "Oh Alex, you get to hang out with your friends? Lafayette on Friday night and then with John on Saturday. I'm sure you'll have a great time, darling." Alexander tightened his hold on his boyfriend and said, "It's Alexander." Thomas rubbed his back and said, "Sorry love. But I gotta go." Alexander hesitantly pulled away from Thomas and mumbled "Okay,"

Thomas softly grabbed Alexander's chin and kissed him on the lips. The taller man could feel the sad smile on his boyfriend's lips, and he pulled away soon. "Bye Alexander, I'll be home Sunday afternoon." Thomas opened the door and stepped out, allowing Alexander to close it himself.

The small male softly closed the door and turned to the empty living room. He hated whenever Thomas went back to Virginia but he couldn't keep him here in the busy city of Philadelphia. He was a southern man at heart, and he needed to stay at his home, Monticello. Alexander hated having the whole house to himself, but he didn't like going to Virginia. It was too quiet.

He shuddered the weird feeling he got, but shrugged it off, sitting down in front of his computer. He opened a blank document, and his mind followed suit. He, for once, didn't know what the hell to write about. So, he checked his work email and wrote up a little something asking Washington if there was anything he should do. Washington quickly replied to the Secretary of Treasury, saying to look over and edit some rough drafts. Alexander got them done in no time and was left wondering what the heck to do for the rest of Thursday night.

Alexander heard his phone go off, about two hours after his boyfriend left, and saw he had a message from him.

**From: Mr Southern Prince**

_hey, darling, I miss you a lot! but, don't let that stop you from having fun tomorrow with laf and on Saturday with John! party hard baby. I love you._

**To: Mr Southern Prince**

_please_   _never say and/or type 'party hard' again. I love you too and I will. and get off your phone, you're driving!_

 **From: Mr Southern** Prince

_okay, i'll text you when im at monticello._

Alexander read the message and grinned a bit. He always hated sleeping alone, but he could manage for a few nights. He didn't feel the need to reply, so he just locked his phone. He and Thomas had been together for 1 year, ten months and had been out to the public for the past six months. As both of them worked for the United States Government under President George Washington, they tried to keep their relationship secret.

That was until some hacker leaked their messages with each other, in hope of exposing the government. Thomas Jefferson, Secretary of State, was forced to come out as gay and dating the Secretary of Treasury, Alexander Hamilton, his supposed worst enemy. After the couple came out, Alexander offered for Thomas to move into his house in the Philadelphia, because it meant he didn't have to buy his own house or rent out an apartment. Even though Thomas was filthy rich, he agreed quickly, as he got to move into his boyfriend's apartment.

The couple agreed to keep the talk of politics out of their home, as they knew it was for the best. They both had two completely different political views, but their personalities went together quite well. The two men only talked about work when telling the other about stuff they did. Like how Alexander wrote a report on how the finances went up in the recent years.

They worked well together and balanced each other out perfectly. When they came out they did get a lot of hate, but President Washington defended them, stating that their relationship will not impact their jobs with the government. Anyways, Alexander curled up on the couch and grabbed the blank just a few feet away from him. He laid down and drifted into a soundless sleep. Two and a half hours later, he woke up to his phone going off. He checked it and he saw that he had two new messages from Thomas:

**From: Mr Southern Prince**

_hey darling, i just got here. im at monticello aye_

**From: Mr Southern Prince**

_get back to me when you can, i know it's late up there_

**To: Mr Southern Prince**

_we're in the same time zone idiot_

**From: Mr Southern Prince**

_please i knew that._

**From: Mr Southern Prince**

_anyways, i'm tired as shit from the drive so i'm gonna go to bed now sweetheart_

**To: Mr Southern Prince**

_okay, have fun tomorrow. goodnight and i love you, my southern prince._

**From: Mr Southern Prince**

_i love you my caribbean beauty. goodnight!_

Alexander sighed and curled up on the couch once again, falling into another deep sleep.


	2. Friday Night With Lafayette

It was Friday night when Alexander was trying to fit into the tightest skinny jeans he had. Yeah, he had a boyfriend who he loves very much, but he's still allowed to show off what he has, right? Plus, Thomas did tell him to party hard, so might as well.

Alexander was never much of a heavy drinker, only being twenty-three. He was very mature for his age and never saw a point to getting absolutely wasted. Plus, his boyfriend was five years older than him, making him twenty-eight. Thomas was never a big fan of getting wasted, but he did love the fancy wine and the occasional shot of whiskey.

When Lafayette knocked on his door at exactly nine on a Friday night, Alexander finished tying his leather boots and opened the door. He took a double take at Lafayette, and Alexander had to admit he looked hot. He had on black tight leather pants, black ankle boots, and a mesh orange top. Alexander would have never thought someone could pull off that shade of orange, but now he knows.

He glanced up at the man who was three inches taller than him and saw that his face looked practically flawless. He was no doubt wearing foundation, and Alexander couldn't help but ask, "Laf, are you wearing highlighter?" Lafayette smirked and popped his mint gum. His perfectly white teeth were exposed, and honestly, if Alexander wasn't taken by Thomas, he would date Lafayette.

Lafayette stared down Alexander and nodded his head in approval. He had his hair down, which Thomas claimed framed his face perfectly. He had on a dark, forest green lightweight shirt, and black skinny jeans with leather boots. He only put on a bit of makeup to cover the bags under his eyes.

"You look good, mon amour," Lafayette said while smirking. Alexander rolled his eyes and grabbed his wallet and keys. The two were the best of friends, but they always had a flirty relationship. Thomas didn't really care, he knew Alexander wouldn't do anything stupid.

Alexander locked his door, and the duo walked down to Lafayette's car. Lafayette kept smacking his gum obnoxiously but Alexander didn't say anything. The two men then pulled up to a gay club and the shorter man rolled his eyes, "Really Laf? A gay club? Did you forget that I'm taken?"

Now it was Lafayette's turn to roll his eyes, "Oh Alexandre, I did not know! Pardon me for not remembering such a distinct fact about yourself." Alexander opened the car door after Lafayette parked and murmured, "Shut the fuck up."

Lafayette let out a chuckle and got out, as well spitting out his gum on the sidewalk. They strolled into the club that was already blasting electronic music. Lafayette grabbed his hand and pulled him over towards the bar, and they each got a beer. "Wait, chugging contest!" Alexander cheered, and Lafayette smirked and they counted down from five.

The two quickly started chugging the beer, and Alexander put his cut down first. He had a confident smirk on his face and Lafayette placed his drink down about 5 seconds after. He gasped at Alexander, and asked, "How did you learn to chug so quickly?" Alexander leaned in, "Honestly, I watched a Buzzfeed video on Youtube." Lafayette let out a loud laugh and Alexander soon followed.

Lafayette all of a sudden stopped laughing and lifted up a hand. Alexander raised an eyebrow at it, and Lafayette said, "May I have this dance, my amour?" Alexander smirked and took his best friend's hand, saying, "Lead the way." The French man pulled the Caribbean into the mix of bodies and placed his hands on Alexander's hips.

The two laughed while dancing in a seemingly almost innocent way. Lafayette leaned down closer to Alexander's ear so he could hear him over the music, "You sure Thomas doesn't mind you dancing with other people." The brunette shook his head and said over the music, "Nah, he doesn't really care. He trusts me." Lafayette nodded, and Alexander turned around in his grip.

The taller man grabbed Alexander's hips and pulled him closer to his waist. Alexander put his hands around Lafayette's neck and started to grind on his best friend. Lafayette laughed, and Alexander, who kept it up. After a minute, the brunette lets go of his best friend and Lafayette and he went their own separate ways. It was their thing whenever they went out clubbing; they danced with each other for a short amount of time, then went dancing with some other people.

Alexander danced with a guy with the same build as Thomas but clearly did not know how to take control. He rolled his eyes and left to dance with another person. After about five minutes of trying to find someone who he could actually dance with, he sighed and went to go sit at the bar.

After ten minutes of sulking, a tall black man with big biceps came up to Alexander. He leaned down in his ear and said, "Hey sweetheart, wanna dance?" Alexander accepted but kept his eyes on Lafayette just in case this went south very quickly. The man placed his hands on Alexander's hips and said, "What's your name babe?" to which he replied, "Name's Alexander."

The man tightened his grip on his hips and said, "Nice, but I'm gonna call you Lexi." Alexander saw the smirk on his lips and turned around. He pretended to take his time getting used to the rhythm when he locked eyes with Lafayette and blinked rapidly. Lafayette left the person he was dancing with and walked right over to Alexander.

"Oh, hello. I'd appreciate it if you got your hands off my boyfriend, thank you very much." The guy squeezed Alexander's hips when he stopped moving and mumbled: "Fuck off Frenchie." The man was just slightly taller than Lafayette, but with Lafayette sharp jawline, big chest and strong biceps, he was easily just as intimidating. Lafayette crossed his arms and said sharply, "Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend."

The man muttered something about how he wasn't worth it and threw Alexander at Lafayette, who caught the boy quickly. "Mon ami, are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?" Alexander shook his head, "Laf, I'm fine. Can we just go sit for a little bit." Lafayette quickly nodded and let Alexander take his hand, as he didn't want to be too rough with him after what just happened.

After a few minutes passing, Alexander said, "I wanna dance again, but is it okay if I dance with you for right now Laf?" The Frenchman quickly nodded his head, and they disappeared into the sea of bodies. Alexander's back was pressed up against Lafayette's chest, and they just swayed back and forth with a little bit of grinding mixed it. The two men kept doing so until they both decided it was time to go home.

Lafayette dropped Alexander off at home and that was the end of their Friday night. Alexander slowly got undressed and prayed for Saturday to be as good of a night.


	3. Saturday Night With John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is no actual rape scene, but there is the violence that leads up to the fact. i refuse to write a rape scene, and the next time you will read, alexander wakes up. i will also post a summary at the start of next chapter! please, if this chapter may impact you emotionally, do not read. your mental health is much more important than a chapter. stay safe my loves x :)

After doing work all day long, Alexander was glad to be out having fun with his other best friend. Now, he wasn't as flirty with John like he was with Lafayette, so when John grasped his hips and started to grind on him, he was slightly confused but went along with it. He pressed his ass against John's crotch when he thought he felt a boner. His eyes widened and he pulled John to the bar. "Let's get some drinks!" He said over the deafening club music and John acknowledged the fact. They sat down next to each other and John waved the bartender over, "I'll have a shot of tequila and he'll have some devil springs vodka." Alexander's eyes widened in shock and the bartender took notice of this.

"Um John," Alexander started but John had cut him off, "Come on Alex, you can take it." The bartender walked off to get their drinks and quickly came back. He handed Alexander a glass with some small amount of clear liquid, who hesitantly took a sip. The small brunette's eyes widened; it was water. John was looking at him for his reaction, so he placed the glass down and coughed. He gave a half smile and said, "Damn, that's strong." John quickly drank his drink, and Alexander locked eyes with the bartender. The smaller boy nodded as a thank you, and the bartender nodded back.

Alexander finished his drink and John handed over his credit card to pay the tab, as they were both getting quite tired. The bartender decided to charge John for the vodka just because he didn't let Alexander refuse it. John said, "Let's head home now, Alex." The two got up and Alexander mumbled something about 'it's Alexander, not Alex.' John said, "Can I drive? I mean, I don't want you driving after that drink." Alexander nodded, handing him the keys to his car because John was looking out for both of them and plus, that was John's only drink for the night. Alexander had two beers when the night first started, so he didn't want to risk anything.

The two hopped in the car and drove off to Alexander's house. "Yo, can I spend the night at your place Alex? I'll sleep on the couch." Alexander nodded and said, "Yeah that's fine man." He didn't even wonder why John had asked, he only lived a few blocks down from his place. John and Alexander safely reached his house, and they got out. Alexander took his keys back and unlocked the door, and pushed it open. John and he stepped in and Alexander said, "John, you want me to get you some clothes?" John nodded and the tiny brunette motioned for him to follow. They climbed the steps and Alexander stepped in his and Thomas' shared bedroom.

Alexander turned his back to John to look through his clothes for something to fit John. He turned back around carrying a regular t-shirt when he felt a hand land harshly on his left cheek. He gasped out in pain and dropped the t-shirt, clutching his cheek. "What the fuck John?" John just smiled and placed his hands on Alexander's hips.

"Come on Alex, baby. You know you want me, especially after that scene in the bar." Alexander pushed John's hands off and said, "No, I don't. I'm with Thomas, and he lets me dance like that." John rolled his eyes, stepping forward to grab Alexander, who took a step backwards to counteract John's movements. "Please, that idiot doesn't even love you." John roughly grabbed Alexander and leaned down, whispering, "I could love you so much better."

Alexander shook his head rapidly and his brain went into flight or fight. He shoved John off him and tried to run to the door, but John caught him before he could get away. John dragged him over to his bed and held him down. "John, please, what're you doing?!" Alexander pleaded. "John, stop!"

John began to roughly disrobe Alexander, and when John got slightly absent-minded, Alexander made a break for it. He shoved John down to the ground and ran out the bedroom. He bolted down the steps and tried to unlock the door, but was roughly shoved against it. He felt John lean down and whisper, "Now now Alex. Why would you do such a thing?" Alexander's eyes watered and he said, "I'm with Thomas, now let me go." John laughed loudly, as it echoed throughout the living room, "Oh Alex, you always did have a wonderful sense of humour."

John roughly grabbed his hair and yanked the miniature male back up the steps and into the master bedroom. "Now, you're going to stay still and enjoy this, or you'll be in even more pain." Alexander cried out and John tightened his grip slightly. "Do you understand me?" Alexander yelled, "Yes! Yes, I do! John, please!"

After John roughly undressed Alexander, he seemed quite unfocused, so Alexander once again tried to run. John yanked his hair back, causing Alexander to scream. Once back on the bed, John punched in the stomach, then punched him on the same spot he slapped earlier on his cheek. Alexander's vision had black spots and he felt dizzy, so he closed his eyes. He tried to make himself just pass out, and maybe it would hurt less.


	4. Sunday Morning With Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter summary:
> 
> John and Alexander went out to a bar, and John started dancing with Alex. Alex pulled away and went to get drinks. They end up going to Alexander's house to spend the night, and when Alex turns around, John punches him. John got all possessive and insulted Thomas, saying how he doesn't love Alexander like he (John) could. Alexander tried to get free, but John is just too strong. He punched him twice, and Alex tried to make himself black-out in hopes of it being less painful.

Alexander woke up with the feeling of dried tears on his face, and a pain that went up his spine when he tried to move his legs. He stared at the clock, and it said eight in the morning. He groaned and wanted to forget last night. He looked around his room and noticed that John wasn't there. His bed was a mess, and there was a lingering smell of sweat, beer and sex in the air.

He snapped his head up when hearing the front door being unfastened. He thought it was John and tried to shield himself as promptly as possible and in a way that wasn't sensitive. Alexander gasped as he moved, and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He managed to get himself under the covers of his and Thomas' bed. The door of their bedroom opened, and Alexander was convinced that is was John. He didn't expect to see the towering black man that he was able to call his boyfriend. Thomas halted when seeing Alexander, who gasped. Thomas was exactly what Alexander needed right now. He needed to be cuddled by his boyfriend.

Thomas glared at Alexander, who furrowed his eyebrows. "Thomas, you're home early!" Thomas nodded, still glaring at the small boy who was in a lot of pain; both mental and physical. Alexander tilted his head in puzzlement, "Tommy? What's wrong?"

The Southern man stepped into the room, slamming the door shut, causing Alexander to flinch, but Thomas was too blinded by ferocity to see this. "I let you go out. I let you dance with whoever. I trusted you. And you just had to go and cheat on me? What the fuck, Alexander?!" Thomas shouted at him.

Alexander's eyes widened and he shook his head, saying, "No! No, no, no Tommy! It's not what you think." Thomas pointed at him and said roughly, "Bullshit!"

Thomas went to the closest and grabbed a suitcase, placed it on the bed, and began packing his clothes in it. Alexander panicked and tried to stand up, but he could barely walk. Thomas let out a bitter laugh and said, "Look at you! You can barely walk! 'No Tommy it's not what you think'," he said in a high pitched voice, "No, you know what? Who? Who fucked you, Alexander?!" Thomas stopped gathering his clothes and glared at Alexander.

The smaller boy's tears were back, and he said, "No one fucked me, Thomas." Thomas laughed again to try and mask his discomfort and hurt, and said, "First you cheat on me, and now you're lying. Just tell me who it is goddammit!"

Alexander remained silent. "Was it Lafayette?" Alexander snapped his head up to look at his boyfriend and shook his head with tears falling freely from his brown eyes. "Was it Laurens?" The smaller boy broke eye contact and mumbled a submissive, "No." Thomas thought for a moment, "Was it-- Wait a minute. You fucking liar!" Alexander flinched at the words that came from Thomas' lips.

"You fucked Laurens. You had sex with him right here, in our bed." Alexander wiped the tears with the back of his hand; how the hell was he supposed to tell Thomas that John forced him to do it? Thomas would just call him out on his bullshit once again. "No, I didn't Thomas." Alexander cried softly. "Stop fucking lying Alex!" The nickname that Thomas called him made him flinch; That was the only name John had called him when he-- "I can smell the beer! I literally smell the sweat! Breathe it in Alexander." Thomas glared and went back to packing.

A minute or so of Thomas roughly packing his clothes and he said, "You had sex with Laurens." The anger in Thomas' voice was all of a sudden gone. Alexander looked up at his boyfriend and he shook his head. Thomas placed his hands on the edge of the bed and shook his own head causing the curls to spring slightly. "No, Alexander, I'm done with the lies. Just admit already." Alexander wondered if he just admits it, would Thomas at least stay? Would he forgive him for 'cheating'? Would it be worth it to tell Thomas that Laurens forced himself on him? Would he call him out on bullshit, or would he believe it? Would Thomas say he deserved it, and call him a whore, a slut, a--

"Yes, I did." Thomas snapped his head up to look at his boyfriend. Alexander saw the tears in the dark brown eyes and he saw the pain, the disappointment. "Did what?" Alexander looked down and said in a numb tone, "I had sex with Laurens." Thomas sighed and zipped up his suitcase.

Alexander looked at the luggage but not the man. He stood by the door, "We're done, Alexander." As he went to leave, Alexander whispered, "Can I just have one last thing before you leave?" Thomas sighed, "What is it, Alexander?" The brunette played with his hands and said, "Can I have one last kiss?" Thomas shook his head, "You lost that privilege when you cheated on me." Alexander let another tear fall and said, "O-okay. Can I just have a hug then?" As much as Thomas didn't want to, he realised he would probably regret not doing this, so he walked over to Alexander and sat down on the bed. He opened his arms and Alexander lunged at him.

The smaller male started crying and it took everything in Thomas not to start breaking down himself. A brief thought came across, as to why is Alexander crying when he's the one who cheated? He sighed, it was most likely his guilty conscience. After about thirty seconds he tried to pull away, but Alexander didn't let go. He just kept crying into his now ex-boyfriend's chest. After a solid minute, Alexander finally pulled away and wiped his tears away.

He said softly, "I'm really sorry Thomas." Thomas just gave a sad smile, and stood up and grabbed his suitcase and walked out of the bedroom. When Alexander heard Thomas' car drive off, he screamed. He screamed loudly and started sobbing once more. Why did he let John have sex with him? Did he even want it? He was so sure he told John that he didn't want to do anything, and he remembers getting roughly pushed down on the bed.

He dug his nails into his forearm to numb the mental pain. He willed himself to get out of bed and to clean himself off. He limped his way into the bathroom and started to draw a bath, as he couldn't stand for that long. Once it was ready, he stripped himself of the little clothing he had left and slowly got into the water. He sighed and glanced to his right, and he saw a bottle of Thomas' shampoo. He took the cap off and smelled the apple scented shampoo, and willed away the tears in his eyes. He deserved it.

Meanwhile, Thomas was driving over to Lafayette's apartment right outside Philadelphia. He let the tears fall from his eyes. He had trusted Alexander, and he had to go and cheat. He prayed it was just Laurens who had sex with Alex, and not Lafayette as well, or else this conversation would be a living hell, and someone (Lafayette) would end up getting punched. He had tried to keep his tears in when he confronted Alex, as he didn't want to show how much he was hurt. The love of his life cheated on him, and for Thomas, cheating was something he'd never forgive. He'd forgive a slight shove or a slap, or maybe even an insult, but when it came to sex, he was done. He felt horrible about leaving Alexander in tears, but he shouldn't be the one sobbing. He could have just said no to Laurens.

Thomas parked his car and hopped out, running up the steps to the door with a French flag painted on it. He knocked rapidly, and when the door opened, he threw himself at Lafayette. He broke down sobbing and Lafayette quickly caught him. Thomas tried to say stuff through his tears, but the Frenchmen only made out phrases like 'Alexander', 'sex', and 'John'. Lafayette rubbed his back and whispered little phrases in French to help calm him down.


	5. Monday Morning at Work

Alexander woke up to the sound of his alarm ringing, and he doesn't remember anything else. He was here, at work, and locked up in his office. He was a few weeks ahead of work, so he sat in the corner and watched people walk by his office. He sat there for hours when he heard two very familiar southern voices stop just feet away from his office door. 

_"Thomas, we need him to sign these papers!"_

_"No Jemmy, I don't care, I'm not going in there."_

_"Thomas Jefferson, why are you turning down the chance to see your boyfriend."_

_"I'm not. I'm turning down the chance to see my ex-boyfriend."_

_"Thomas, I didn't know..."_

_"It's fine James. Let's just get this over with."_

Thomas stepped over to the office door and went to turn the handle, but it didn't budge. Thomas tried again and twice more before saying, _"Oh hey look the door's locked, let's go."_ and walked away. He heard Madison mumble something, and the unlocking of a phone, and then him walking away.

Not even a minute later, Alexander's phone went off, and there was a message from the one and only James Madison.

**From: James Madison**

_Hamilton, Jefferson and I need you to sign some papers, where are you? and you two broke up?_

He read it but did nothing about it. It wasn't worth it.

**From: James Madison**

_I see that you read it, Hamilton. Look, these papers are important, and I'll just get Jefferson to tell me then._

He read that message but didn't have the motivation to reply. He just locked his phone and curled up into an even tighter ball. An hour passed of Alexander listening to nothing but his thoughts when he realised it was their lunch break. Normally Thomas would come over and eat on the couch that Alexander had in his office, but that was when they were together. 

After the lunch break that consisted of him eating but quickly losing his appetite, he got two message just seconds apart. One from James Madison, another from George Washington.

**From: James Madison**

_Really, you cheated on him? He couldn't get through the first sentence without bursting into tears. Sign these papers and then get back to whatever the fuck you're doing._

**From: George Washington**

_Cabinet Meeting at 2 PM. Be there with the signed papers from Madison._

Alexander mumbled a swear and pushed himself off the floor of his office. He fixed his ponytail and wiped his eyes. He can't remember crying, but he also can't remember driving to work this morning, so better to be safe than sorry. He opened his door and walked over to Jefferson's office. He knocked on the door, and heard Madison mumble a 'come in.'

He took a deep breath and walked into Jefferson's office, ignoring the dull pain in his spine. He said, "You need me to sign something, Madison?" The man nodded and grabbed the stack of papers from Jefferson's desk. Alexander took them and went to walk out, but stopped when Madison cleared his throat. "No, you sign these right here, right now. In front of us." 

Alexander sighed but sat down on the couch near James, completely ignoring Thomas just feet away from him. He began to skim through the many pages, signing where it was necessary. He saw how Madison didn't even sign anywhere throughout the thing, just at the very end. The last spot was left for the president, who would most likely be signing them at the cabinet meeting in less than an hour. 

Once completed, he handed the stack back to Madison, who took them with a glare on his face. He looked through them, nodding whenever he saw his signature. He handed them back to Alexander, who stood up and said to Jefferson, "Okay, see you at the cabinet meeting." For the first time, Thomas spoke, "What do you mean cabinet meeting, Hamilton?" Alexander just shrugged off.

He stepped out of the office and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He clenched his eyes shut, and walked over to his office, which wasn't that far from Thomas'. He glanced at the clock, and saw it said 1:52 PM, and decided to just go early. He walked down the hall and knocked on the door. This was the room where all the cabinet meetings took place, so he walked in when he got no reply.

Alexander slowly walked and saw George sitting at the table in his designated seat. The small man took a seat on his right side, his normal spot. Normally Thomas Jefferson would sit in front of him, Henry Knox to Hamilton's right, and Edmund Randolph of Jefferson's left. There was a spot for Adams, but he never showed up half the time. 

"Sir? You called for a cabinet meeting, yet Mr Jefferson had no idea what you meant by it." Alexander spoke in a polite, but curious tone. "Ah, well Mr Jefferson is the subject of today's meeting. Only it's just you and I today, Mr Hamilton." Alexander tensed up at his use of words, getting slight flashbacks from Saturday night, but tried to keep his voice steady, "What about Mr Jefferson, sir?" 

"Is he okay? I noticed he and Mr Madison were spending a lot of time in his office today, and I also noticed your door was locked. I know the two of you share a home, and I'm deeply concerned, as I saw him crying during his lunch break." Alexander looked down at his own hands and said, "He's not okay."

"And why is that son." Alexander took a breath and he said quietly, "I  don't know. He won't tell me. Probably family issues." George nodded and went to reply when a knock on the door interrupted their conversation. George called out to them, and a little secretary said, "Mr President, Mr Lafayette is here." Alexander's eyes widened; there was no doubt in his mind that Thomas had gone over to Lafayette's place after he left.

"Send him in." The man nodded, "Will do, sir." After a minute of wait for Lafayette, the Frenchmen walked into the room, making intense eye contact with Alexander. He shook his head and mumbled something in French that Alexander couldn't make it out. "Ah, Mr Lafayette! What brings you in today?"

Alexander tuned the two of them out, until George placed his hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch. George immediately lowered his hand and said, "Son, are you alright?" Alexander shook his head and said, "Sir, I actually feel quite ill. May I be able to spend the rest of the day in my office?" George nodded his head and Alexander quickly stood up, walking past Lafayette who glared at him.

Life just couldn't get much worse. His boyfriend hated him, his best friend thinks he's a dirty disgusting cheater, and his other best friend forced him into sex. 

He sighed and walked around the corner, just wanting to get to his office so he could have a proper panic attack in peace. Though, he was not expecting to run right into the only and only Thomas Jefferson. Thomas shoved him and said, "Watch where you're going, you prick!" Alexander's eyes watered and opened his office door and slammed it shut. He locked it and slid down the back of the door, his breathing getting more and more shallow with tears falling.

Work was the one place where he was free to be himself. He could write all he wants, argue and debate all he wants, but still get to see his boyfriend. He didn't get any of those things anymore. He slowly let his eyes close, drifting into an emotionally painful nightmare.


	6. Hate Texts and the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the text set up might be a bit confusing, as alex has thoughts about them. here is the set up:
> 
> From: person (in bold)  
> message (in italics)  
> thoughts (regular font)
> 
> you should get the jist of it

Alexander Hamilton's phone had been blowing up. He got so many notifications that he was very tempted to smash his phone to pieces. They were from his so called friends. No doubt in his mind that Madison, Lafayette and Jefferson told everyone about him cheating on Thomas.

The more Alexander thought about it, the more it made sense. He deserved it all. I mean, nobody expected Alexander, the small spoon and more 'innocent' of the two, to have sex with one of his best friends. He couldn't stand the messages, but the longer the week became, the less they hurt. He felt numb whenever his phone went off.

**From: Angelica Schuyler**

_Really Alexander? That was so fucked up..._

He should have protested harder. He should have said no louder.

**From: James Madison**

_Thomas hasn't said your name at all in the past week._

Why would he even care what comes out of Thomas' lips?

**From: Peggy Schuyler**

_Alex, I love you but what the fuck man?_

He doesn't know either

**From: Lafayette**

_dude, why the hell would you do that to Thomas?_

He didn't try to!

**From: Eliza Schuyler**

_what happened? I want your side of the story..._

Why does it even matter? No one wants to hear his side. It would just be bullshit anyway. 

**From: James Madison**

_You couldn't say no to John, could you?_

He did! John didn't listen to him...

**From: Aaron Burr**

_Alexander, I don't care about what you did, it's not my place to step in or anything, but everyone in the office is talking about it._

Alexander didn't bother to reply to texts. He knew they were all right, so why bother even defending himself? No one even wanted to hear his side of the story, because he would only be lying. He cheated; he had sex with John Laurens when he was still dating Thomas Jefferson. He's a cheater. 

He thought he couldn't get more numb, until Friday morning when he gets a message from the one and only John Laurens. He was in a cabinet meeting with the rest of the people when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly checked it, only to have his blood run cold.

**From: John Laurens**

_hey baby, i was thinking we could do that again sometime? i mean, thomas is out of the picture now, isn't he?_

George glanced over to his Secretary of Treasury and noticed his face was very, very pale and he looked like he had seen a ghost. "Son, is everything okay?" Alexander nodded his head and looked down when he had gotten another message.

**From: John Laurens**

_god, the sex was fucking amazing baby. seeing you cry and hearing you scream. let me know when we should meet up again._

Alexander gasped and he threw his phone as he wanted those messages out of his face and out of his brain and off his phone. The phone slid right under the table, at the very feet of Thomas Jefferson. 

He leaned down and picked up the device, and read the two messages on the screen. His face went pale, but then it was replaced with seething anger. He stood up, using his height to his advantage. He chucked the phone at the small man and yelled, "You fucking slut!" and stormed out of the room.

Alexander stayed glued to his seat until George went to place a hand on him. He grabbed his phone and ran out of the room, straight into his office, locking the door and pacing around his room. His breathing increased quickly, and not even five minutes later, Alexander heard the two southern voices yelling. 

"No Thomas. I'm doing something about this!" He heard James yell. He heard cries of protest and then his door handle was moving as if James was trying to unlock it. "Hamilton, unlock the fucking door!" Alexander quickly unlocked the door, as he got less hurt if he followed people's orders.

A raging man stood right in front of him and roughly grabbed his arm, dragging him out of his office. Everyone else in the office was staring at them and Thomas stood there glaring at Alexander, but the tears were obvious in his eyes. "Why the hell did you cheat on Thomas?!" 

Alexander tried to get his arm out of James' grip, but the taller man remained relentless. "I-I didn't-" He started before George Washington walked over to Madison, Hamilton and Jefferson. "Mr Madison, let Mr Hamilton go, as you can clearly see he is in distress." James let go of Alexander but cried out, "Why is he the one in distress?! He's the one that cheated!"

The smaller man said, "Why do you even care? It's between us, James." James looked at Thomas and said, "Because he's my best friend. His health and emotions mean something to me. I don't want him hurt." Alexander scoffed, "Please, you're acting like you're the one who got cheated on."

The look in James' eyes changed and he gave his direct attention to Alexander, "You know what!? You have no respect for the love and support Thomas gave you!" He raised his hand and slapped Alexander's face, causing him to gasp and have tears well up in his eyes once again. He mumbled, "I'm done with this fucking high school drama." and walked off, with Thomas following.

George walked over to Alexander and said, "Son, let's take a walk to my office. Everyone back to work!" Alexander walked closely to George, but not enough to touch him in any way. Alexander stepped in the office and George locked the door. Alexander snapped his head over, and said, "Can you-- can you actually k-keep it unlocked?" George was confused but unlocked the door. 

Alexander sat down on the couch in George's office, and George sat next to him. He put his hands on his face and then moved them to his hair, pulling on it in a stressed way. "Hey, Alex, stop doing that." Alexander froze and said, "Don't call me Alex."

The president nodded and said, "Alright, so what's up? I know what I heard out there, but what's your side of the story? What happened?" Alex shook his head and felt his breathing increase once again. "I-It's bullshit."

George shook his head and said, "Come on Alexander. Anything you say won't leave this room unless you or someone you know is in danger." The brunette sighed and said, "Where do I start?" 

"Where ever you want to. I know James said something about you cheating, but I want the full story." Alexander nodded and said in a quiet voice, "Well, last Friday I went out clubbing with Lafayette. We danced with each other for a little bit, then went out separate ways. Long story short, some guy is all possessive and Laf pretends he's my boyfriend and we dance together for the rest of the night."

"So you had sex with Lafayette?" George said, wondering why. Alexander shook his head. "No, we did not. Anyways, Friday night was amazing, too amazing."

"S-Saturday came, and J-John Laurens and I arrive at a different bar." The small male took a deep breath and continued, "Now, I'm not super flirty like I am with John as I am with Laf, so when he started to dance with me, it felt off. I let it slide and I decided to get some drinks." George nodded at everything Alexander was saying, taking it all in.

"He tried to get me to drink this really strong vodka, and I'm guessing the bartender noticed my reaction, so he handed me some water instead. We end up going home and John asks to crash at my place." Alexander said. That was the easy part. Now, the harder part of the story.

"And you know, my home is always open for my friends, so of course I wasn't going to deny it. I go upstairs to Thomas and I's shared bedroom to get him some clothes, and when I turn back around, he..." Alexander paused. It was now or never. He could bullshit his way through it and say John pushed him against the wall and kissed him and he kissed back, but why bother lying anymore. Alexander was done with this whole cheating situation.

"H-He slapped me and insulted Thomas. He roughly grabbed me and I-I tried shoving him away. I promise! I did! He was just too strong!" Alexander sobbed, as he shook his head. "H-He punched me twice and I promise you, I told him to stop! He didn't listen!" George placed a hand on Alexander's back, who flinched away immediately. George cursed himself out in his own head, but said, "Alexander, you need to tell Thomas this."

Alexander looked into George's eyes and shook his head, "No, he'll think I'm lying. I can take the rude texts. I can take the disbelieving looks. I can take it, but I can't bear the thought of him not believing me." George took a deep breath and said, "Alexander, you were raped. You need to tell Thomas this."

Alexander shook his head and stared at his shoes. "Okay, fine. I cannot force you to tell Thomas, but I have a few more questions if you're willing to answer them." Alexander nodded, so George asked, "Who knows that you 'cheated'?" The smaller boy scoffed and said, "Who doesn't?" 

George nodded and continued, "Now, what did you mean 'rude texts'?" Alexander took his phone out and opened his messages up. He handed it to George who read through all of them. "Alexander, what about the one from Laurens?" Alexander clenched his eyes shut and said, "Don't read it yet." George just replied, "I won't."

Once he finished reading through all the texts he got, he handed it back to Alexander. "Lastly, we were in the cabinet meeting this morning, and I see that I had gotten a text. I checked it, because I had nothing important to say, and Thomas wouldn't listen to my ideas anyway." George lets out an awkward cough at this because he knew Alexander was right.

"It's from L-Laurens. He sends something along the lines of wanting to do i-it again because T-Thomas is out of the picture now. And that's when you asked if I was okay. But then I had gotten another message. H-He said--" Alexander took a deep breath and continued, "He said me crying and screaming was amazing." The small boy kept willing away the tears in his eyes; he had cried enough in the past six days as it is.

George took a sharp intake of breath, and mumbled, "Oh Alexander..." Alexander felt a tear escape his eye and quickly wiped it away. "I don't want pity, George. All I want is Thomas." The president nodded and said, "I know you don't want to hear it, but to get Thomas back you need to tell him."

Alexander sadly chuckled and said, "Can't you just give a presidential order for him to hug me?" George cracked a smile and said, "I could order him to come in the room." Alexander nodded and mumbled, "Please." 

"I'll go get him," George said, and walked out of the room.


	7. The Complete Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like im new to AO3 and i tried to delete my comment but i accidentally deleted someone else's really nice comment. something about all this angst and if it's you im so so so sorry. all these comments, bookmarks and kudos make me want to update faster, so here in this really sad and painful chapter. enjoy my loves x

Alexander was trying to level his breathing back to normal when he heard the doorknob fiddle. George stepped in with Thomas trailing right behind him, and he did not look happy. George gave a little smile, and said, "Thomas, please sit on the couch." Thomas made a face but sat down on the couch, not anywhere near Alexander.

Thomas said, "Alright, I'm here. What do you two want?" Alexander sighed and looked towards George, and his eyes screamed, 'He's gonna think I'm lying!'

George said, "I'm going to be right outside my office, and you two are going to talk this out. Thomas, if I hear you raise your voice even the slightest, you will not be coming back for the next week. Am I clear?" Thomas nodded and George turned to Alexander, "Alexander, you will tell him nothing but the truth, am I clear?" Alexander nodded and George turned to Thomas and said, "You touch Alexander without him telling you, that the same punishment applies." Thomas nodded and George said, "I am right outside."

The president left the two alone and pulled up a chair right next to the door. He was greeted by none other than James Madison, who said, "Why are they in there alone?" George shrugged and said, "Personal business." James went to say something but George cut him off, saying, "Mr Madison, I'd appreciate it if you could go back to your own work." James reluctantly nodded and walked away from the office door

Back inside the room, Alexander brought his knees up to his chest and weakly said, "Tommy, I need you to listen to me." Thomas looked over at the small boy and turned to face him. Yes, he was mad, he was hurt, but he wasn't going to completely shut out his boyfriend. Or, ex-boyfriend.

"Y-You know last Saturday night...?" Thomas nodded but tensed up slightly. Alexander shifted his gaze towards Thomas and mumbled, "Stop that." 

"Stop what?" Thomas said, slightly curious. "Stop tensing up. You do that when you want to be strong, but you're hurting. Well, I'm hurting too." Thomas lifted his feet up onto the couch, sitting like they do in kindergarten, and said in pain, "Why? You're the one that cheated on me." 

Alexander shook his head and said, "I didn't. I swear." Thomas got slightly frustrated, "But you admitted it! You told me that you had sex with John." This time it was Alexander who tensed up, "That's because you didn't let me explain!"

"There was nothing to explain!" Thomas said, raising his voice, and he quickly lowered it, "There is nothing to explain. I know what I saw." Alexander said shakily, "W-What did you see exactly?"

Thomas scoffed, "I smelled the booze, the sweat, the sex. You also couldn't walk. Plus, I saw the messages from John, remember?"

Alexander shook out his head, but he got an idea-- pulling out his phone. He unlocked it, opened the messages and gave the phone to Thomas, "Read. Them." Thomas rejected the device, "Oh, so now you want to rub it in my face?" Alexander cried out, "Just read the fucking messages, Thomas!"

Thomas, slightly confused and shaken up due to the loud voice, took the device and scanned them with pain evident on his face. He handed the phone back, "Okay, I read them." Alexander snapped his head over, "Read them. Analyze them. Read in between the damn lines."

Thomas read the two messages again, this time his gaze stopped on the second message. ' _seeing you cry and hearing you scream'_ He looked up at the man who curled in on himself, "Alexander, is this what I think?" 

"I don't know what you're thinking," Alexander mumbled, refusing to look at him. Thomas said, "Alexander, just tell me what happened that night."

Alexander took a second and said quietly, "John and I went out to a bar. Now, I don't have a flirty r-relationship with him, so when we started dancing all weird, I pulled away. He, he tried to get me to drink this strong vodka, devil something..." Thomas said, "Devil Springs Vodka?" Alexander nodded and Thomas mumbled, "Oh shit."

"Not helping Thomas." He mumbled an apology and shifted closer to Alexander. "He asks to stay the night at our place, and you know how our home is always open to our friends, right?" Thomas nodded and let Alexander continue. "I-I go to get him some clothes, and when I turn back around, he slapped me. He-he insulted you! He put h-his hands on me, and Thomas I promise I didn't want it! I told him no! He didn't listen to me!" He cried.

Thomas went to hug Alexander, but remembered what George said, so he just opened his arms and said, "Come here, darlin'." Alexander quickly crawled into Thomas' grasp and kept crying. The southern man whispered little sayings and said, "Would you like to go home?" Alexander nodded his head, but then quickly shook his head. "I-I don't wanna go back there. I've been there all week and it hurts. Thomas, he hurt me in our bed!" Alexander sobbed once more. Thomas felt like utter shit right now, but he wasn't the one who got hurt. He didn't listen to his boyfriend.

"Tommy, I want you back," Alexander said, the voice is slightly muffled due to it going straight into Thomas' chest. "Alexander, I don't think you're in the right mindset to be having a boyfriend." Alexander pulled away and said, "I want you to be my boyfriend. No one else." Thomas sighed and said, "Let's just get you home, come on."

Alexander stayed put, saying, "No, I want you to be my boyfriend again. I only feel safe with you." He paused, "No, you're still upset about me cheating on you." Thomas quickly shook his head and said, "Darling, I just don't want to push you. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to scare you. I feel like absolute shit for not listening to you sooner, and I feel so fucking stupid for calling you a slut and god, baby I'm so fucking sorry." Thomas said, now crying. 

This time it was Alexander who opened his arms to his (ex?) boyfriend. Thomas quickly hugged him and said, "Lex, let's just go home." Alexander nodded, and Thomas opened the door, George quickly stood up, turned to Alexander and said, "You tell him the complete truth?" Thomas and Alexander both nodded, and the smaller of the two said, "George, can we go home early today?"

"Yes, of course, son, you don't even need to ask! Take as long as you need, and I'm here for you. I always will be." Alexander nodded with a slight smile, and let go of Thomas. He hugged the president, who seemed shocked, but quickly hugged him back just as tightly. When the President let go of the younger man, Alexander stepped back and grabbed onto Thomas instantly. The taller man laced their fingers together and George said, "Good. You two are perfect together. Now please, go home." The two walk down the hallway, getting many different types of looks. 

First, it's Lafayette who is gaping at the two, then it's Angelica whose utterly confused, and lastly, Aaron who just looks at their hands and how close Alexander is pressed up against Thomas, and nods. He could tell something was up, but it wasn't his place to ask. He read Alexander's body language and figured out he was hurt in some way. But again, not his place to step in.

They passed by Aaron, and he smiled slightly. Thomas was perfect for Alexander, only when James stepped out of his office to stop the two, Aaron rushed over and placed a light hand on his chest. 

"Let it be, James. Let them figure it out." James looked conflicted but gave a small smile and said, "I have to admit, they do look pretty cute together." Aaron nodded in agreement and the two watched them disappear down the hall.


	8. Thomas Tries Not To Fuck Things Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! sorry for not updating a lot, i lost motivation and i burnt my finger so it hurts like hell to type but yolo. anyways, as my very dear former teacher told me, write write write!. so, heRE
> 
> basically thomas feels like shit and is distant... but they tALK

Thomas and Alexander went to the hotel room Thomas had been staying at for the past few days. At first, Thomas stayed with Lafayette for about two days but then felt guilty so he got a hotel room. The southern man unlocked the door with one hand, while the other was holding onto the shorter man. He pushed the door open, and Alexander quickly stepped in. Thomas said, "Do you want to get a shower?" Alexander nodded and Thomas ushered him towards the shower. The taller man stayed in the bathroom, without even noticing, until Alexander gave him a look.

He blushed and said, "I'm sorry! I'll be leaving now..." He stepped out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. He placed his head in his hands and sighed. The water started running and he brought his legs up closer to him. He wanted to be back with Alexander, but he was scared to hurt him on accident. Thomas had a feeling that if they got back together, the taller man would act like nothing happened, most likely hurting Alexander. He cared for him so much, so he would have to wait.

After about fifteen minutes of sitting on the bed and thinking, he heard Alexander's phone start to go off. The second he got up, the water turned off. Thomas grabbed the device and saw that Aaron Burr was calling him. He accepted the call and was instantly greeted with Aaron's voice.

"Hey Hamilton, Madison is hounding me. Just wanna know if you're doing okay."

Thomas chuckled and said, "Hey Aaron, it's Thomas. Alexander is in the bathroom, but he just got out of the shower."

"Oh, hey Thomas. Can you give the phone to him?" Thomas nodded, but also said, "yeah sure, give me a sec," when realising he's on the phone. Thomas stepped over to the bathroom and opened the door, forgetting to knock.

He stepped into the bathroom and saw Alexander wrapped up in a towel. The shorter man quickly pushed him and yelled, "No, stop it! Get out!" Thomas stepped forward, but Alexander let out a loud scream and ran to the other side of the small bathroom, causing Thomas to freeze in his spot. The shorter man curled in on himself and whimpered. Thomas shook himself out of his trace and put the phone up to his ear and said in a numb tone, "Aaron I have to go. Tell Jemmy nothing." He quickly hung up. He put Alexander's phone in his suit pocket and took a small step forward.

"Alexander? It's me, Thomas." Alexander looked up the tiniest bit and made eye contact with the taller man. Thomas smiled and asked, "Can I come closer?" Alexander nodded a bit, and Thomas took two more small steps closer. Thomas gave a big smile, though he was terrified for Alexander and that he could fuck this up at any possible moment. "Darling, what's wrong?" Alexander whimpered when Thomas took another step, causing the taller of the two to step back. Thomas' smile faltered and said, "I scared you, didn't I?" Alexander nodded.

He gave a sad smile and said, "Baby, I'm really sorry. I didn't think. It didn't even register that you could have gotten scared from me opening the door." Alexander motioned Thomas to come closer, and he did as such, only slower than last time.

Once he was in front of the smaller man, he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to touch him, he didn't want to say the wrong thing, or even scare him again. Thomas just smiled and Alexander grabbed his hand. The taller man was shocked but let him do what he needed. Alexander tugged Thomas closer, and practically attacked his torso. Thomas let out a chuckle and hugged him back. He noticed Alexander's towel was falling down slightly so he said, "Sorry," But grabbed it and secured it. Alexander smiled and said, "Can you leave so I can get changed?" Thomas nodded, but asked, "What're you gonna change into?" Alexander motioned to his old work clothes.

Thomas shook his head and said, "Nah, I got something you can wear. Follow me, darling." Alexander attached himself to Thomas' arm once again and followed him out into the main room. Thomas opened his suitcase, giving him some gym shorts that he could tie, along with a big Harvard t-shirt. He handed the clothing to Alexander, saying softly, "You can go get changed in the bathroom, but you can wear your own boxers from before." Alexander nodded and quickly walked off towards the hotel bathroom.

Thomas sat on the chair near the window, and about a minute later, Alexander stepped out. He sat down on the floor across from Thomas and smiled up at him. Thomas chuckled but slid down to the floor as well, while still being in his suit from work. They stayed there for a minute, and Thomas ruined the tranquillity but saying, "We need to talk about this." Alexander looked away and said, "What's there to talk about?"

"Alexander, we need to discuss some things. Let's start with what just happened back there." Thomas started. Alexander sighed but said, "You scared me because I didn't know who it was." Thomas nodded and said, "But you're okay now?" Alexander nodded and smiled at him, "I'm okay now."

Thomas sighed and said, "Sweetheart, I'm gonna be completely honest with you here. And I know this may sound slightly selfish, but please listen." Alexander nodded, and Thomas took that as his cue to continue, "The real reason I don't want to get back together right now, is because I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you again."

"Again?" Thomas cleared up his slight mistake, "I mean, like scare you." He paused to take a deep breath, "I know myself. I'm gonna instantly go back into our relationship like nothing ever happened. I'm gonna be my jealous little self, and I'm gonna wanna have sex sometimes. But I know, no matter how much you say you're fine, you're not okay. You freaked out on me for walking in without knocking, which I'll admit was fucking stupid, so how are you gonna not flip out if I wanna kiss you roughly or, I don't know!" Thomas ended, getting frustrated at himself for not knowing the right words.

Alexander cleared his throat and said, "Thomas, I-- you're most likely right. I'll probably flip my shit if you get even slightly possessive, but we have to try! We can't just give up! We had-- _we have_ such a great relationship, and I'm not letting this small bump in the road rip apart what we have into shreds."

"Lex, it's not just a small bump in the road. It's a whole fucking detour. Now, I'm gonna stop with the damn metaphors, and flat out say it. Alexander, you were raped. By your friend. We have to do something about it." Alexander quickly shook his head, "No! Obviously, you don't know what it feels like to be raped." Thomas grabbed both of Alexander's hands and kissed them. The southern man said, "You're right. I don't know how it feels. But I've seen it firsthand. My younger sister, Elizabeth, she was raped as well. I was the only one who she told. She didn't tell our mother and she didn't tell our father."

The immigrant said softly, "Why are you telling me this?" Thomas shushed him softly and said, "She came to me every night when she couldn't sleep. I saw how her fear of men came to be. I saw her flinch whenever dad even came near her. I begged and begged for her to tell our parents, or at least the police, but she was so dead set on no one believing her. Now, I know that most people are ignorant about the fact that men can-- _and do_ \-- get raped, so I have a slight adjustment as to what we can do."

Alexander nodded for Thomas to go on. "We can get a restraining order against John and change your number." Alexander said softly, "But normally we need a reason to get one. What do we say?" Thomas thought for a moment and said, "Well, let's not lie to the government, considering we work for it. We could just ask George to override it if they deny it." Alexander nodded, "Okay. That works, but I'll only do it if you do something for me."

Thomas gave a light sigh but said, "Okay, what is it?" Alexander scooted closer to him, "Be my boyfriend again." Thomas looked away and Alexander quickly said, "We can take it slow. I'll tell you where I stand on certain things and what not to do. Just please, I feel my safest whenever I'm with you."

The southern man smiled and said, "Okay. Just you have to communicate with me." Alexander nodded and said, "Will do. First things first, never call me Alex." Thomas nodded, and Alexander kept naming things for Thomas not to do, and Thomas listened to everything.

 


	9. Telling Friends the Truth ft. Restraining Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive had writer's block so this probably sucks ass. i should be back for now, and im gonna be leaving august 7th til like the 14th whoops im sorry. im gonna try and make up for it in the next like,, five days. have fun reading my loves x

Alexander and Thomas had taken the rest of the weekend off, staying in the hotel. Alexander said he wanted to sell the house, as he didn't want to ever live there again. Thomas was okay with that, as he perfectly understood where his boyfriend was coming from. They talked to a local realtor and Thomas took it upon himself to pack up their shared bedroom alone so Alexander wouldn't have to go back in there. They also came to an agreement that they would get a new bed and blankets.

They were changing everything about themselves and their living styles, but if it made Alexander comfortable, then it was well worth it. The two found a house that was in a nice neighbourhood that made it look like you had money, but not enough to flaunt it everywhere, even though they both knew that Thomas had enough money to flaunt it around. The southern was crazy rich, no doubt about it, but Alexander wasn't used to having large amounts of money and he was much more comfortable acting as if the money isn't even there in the bank.

It was Monday morning when the two had left the hotel in their work clothes, with Thomas' arm wrapped tightly around Alexander's shoulders. They carried their respective briefcases and took Thomas' car back to the office building. Needless to say, when they walked in together right on time, the got a lot of heads turning.

Lafayette ran over to the two and said, "Thomas, why are you two back together?" Thomas put a light hand on Lafayette's chest and said, "Laf, we'll tell you when the time comes, I promise." The smaller immigrant looked around Thomas and gave him a light smile-- a promise. Lafayette smiled slightly back at Thomas, raised his hands in a mock surrender way and said, "Okay, go on now." Thomas and Alexander kept walking to their (well, they were going to stay in Thomas' office all day but they're right near each other anyways) offices when they got stopped by Aaron and James. James raised an eyebrow and asked, "Where have you two been?" James crossed his arms and Aaron rolled his eyes at the gesture. Alexander let out a small chuckle and said, "We've been at home."

"Well I know that, but  _why_?" James said, stressing the last word of the sentence. Alexander shrugged and said, "'Cause we felt like it." He smirked a bit, as it was pretty fun to mess with the ever sickly and seemingly confident James Madison. This time it was James that rolled his eyes, and he just said, "Thomas, wanna meet me for lunch?" Thomas glanced at his boyfriend who nodded, and he quickly agreed. "Alright then gentlemen, I must be off to do my own work," James said and quickly walked away. Aaron let out a small laugh, "Well that was awkward." Alexander smiled at his coworker and nodded in agreement. Thomas leaned down a pressed a kiss to Alexander's cheek, causing the smallest of the three to let out a small giggle. 

Aaron smiled at the two, and Alexander's eyes widened. The smallest said, "Aaron, Thomas and I talked, and would you wanna join us this evening at seven at the Sheraton hotel?" Aaron raised an eyebrow and said, "Why?" Thomas cut in, saying, "We wanna talk, about what happened when you were on the phone." Aaron nodded his head in realisation and said, "I mean, let's talk about this in someone's office instead of right out here." The couple nodded and they walked over to Thomas' office.

They stood awkwardly in the centre for a minute until Alexander sat down on the couch and Thomas walked over to his office chair. Aaron sat in the chair on the opposite side of the desk and turned his body so he was mostly facing Alexander. Aaron said, "About what I heard, I won't say anything. It's not my place to." Thomas said, "Yeah, it's a whole other thing."

"Well, I know what I heard and I'm not an idiot. I--" Thomas quickly cut him off, "You don't know anything about what happened!" Alexander said softly, "Tommy, it's okay." Thomas placed his face in his hands- something he had been doing a lot lately- took a deep breath, and Aaron said, "I- Look like I was saying, I'm not an idiot. I saw Alexander get scared when people rushed by too quickly. I saw how he flinched and how his door was almost always locked." He turned towards Alexander, "I can tell that you got hurt, and I have a pretty good idea of what happened." 

Alexander looked away from Aaron's gaze and stood up. He mumbled, "We're talking about this tonight and tonight only. I'm gonna go get my papers and when I come back, this topic will be over." He stepped out of the room and softly shut the door. He looked around and saw James look up as his door was open and the shades were up. James had a look in his eyes, shook his head and went back to his own paperwork. Alexander sighed, he knew that look. James was disappointed. Firstly at Alexander for cheating and secondly for Thomas, who went back to dating the 'cheater' of a boyfriend. 

-

Monday afternoons weren't meant to be sitting in the President's work office, having him making calls to get a restraining order for one of his hardest workers. George sighed and said, "Alexander, I'm doing the best I can, but you're most likely going have to the courthouse." Alexander shook his head and said, "No! I have to give them a reason!" Thomas grabbed Alexander's hand, squeezing it in an attempt to make his boyfriend feel a bit better. It didn't work that much, but he quickly went quiet.

"Son, why don't you just say the truth? Tell the cops you were raped?" George said in a light tone, which was only being used for the comfort and well-being of the secretary. Alexander let out a bitter laugh, "Yeah, no thanks. Just imagine how much attention that would get in the news: 'Unites States Secretary of the Treasury admitted to being raped by long time best friend John Laurens'" Thomas looked over at George and they both knew. Alexander was right. Thomas rubbed his boyfriend's back, and said, "Darling, you can get Aaron to be your lawyer. Just tell the cops that Laurens assaulted you in your own home, and fill out the forms." 

Alexander nodded with wide eyes and said desperately, "I'll do that. I just need this to be over."

-

Thomas was sitting alone in his office as Alexander had given him the task of asking Eliza and Lafayette (along with Aaron but he had already been asked) to come over to their hotel to explain what the hell had happened. The couple had talked and they didn't want to tell everyone what happened, as it wasn't their business, but they agreed on their three closest friends; Aaron Burr, Elizabeth Schuyler and Lafayette.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. The southern man picked up the work phone on his desk and dialled up Eliza. He heard the line ringing and was deep in his thoughts. A soft voice broke him away from his deep thoughts. "Hello?" Thomas smiled slightly and said, "Eliza, it's Thomas." 

"Oh, hello Thomas, how have you been?" Thomas just said, "It's been hell. But, I was wondering if you could join me and a few others at the Sheraton tonight at seven p.m.? It's important." He heard some shuffling on the other side and the soft voice, "Yes, of course, Thomas! Though I must ask, who will also be attending?" 

"Alexander, Aaron and Lafayette." 

"Mmh, okay. I'll be there. Though I must go now, have a good day at work, and tell Alex I said hello and to not overwork himself." Thomas chuckled and said, "Will do Eliza. Have a nice day."

He hung up the phone, only to pick it up and dial Lafayette's work phone. Not even a few seconds later, he heard the French accent, "Bonjour, it's Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette speaking." Thomas chuckled and said, "Laf, it's Thomas." A laugh on the other side of the receiver was heard and said, "Tom, what's up?" 

"Well, Alexander and I were wondering if you would be willing to come over to the Sheraton at seven tonight? We need to talk. Eliza and Aaron will be joining us."

"I'll be there, but I'm actually quite busy now, so I must go."

"See you then Lafayette," Thomas said, hanging up, ignoring the weird feeling of how quick the phone call was. His door opened and in walked Alexander holding two cups of coffee. The smaller man placed one cup down on Thomas' desk with a smile and sat back down on the couch.

The couple sat alone in the silence for a few minutes, which involved Alexander just staring at the cup of coffee and Thomas signing some papers. Alexander looked up and said, "Did you make the calls?" Thomas looked up and nodded, saying, "Yep. Seven PM tonight with Lafayette and Eliza, along with Aaron. Oh, and Eliza said hello, and to not overwork yourself" Alexander smiled but nodded and the two continued sitting in silence until Alexander grabbed some of his own paperwork to start signing.


	10. The Truth Comes Out ft Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter my loves. i hope you enjoyed this book as much as i did. thank you so much for reading it :) x
> 
> if you made it this far, i'm gonna tell you a little fact about myself: whenever i see a picture of lafayette, mulligan, hamilton, laurens or any other person who served in the revolutionary war, i salute. i don't applaud them, i don't love their every move, i silently thank them. now, i only do this when i see a picture of them, which isn't too often, but i'm not afraid to say why i am saluting. 
> 
> enjoy x

Monday evenings weren't meant to be sitting on a fluffy couch with a large glass of wine in front of your boyfriend and best friend waiting for two other friends, but here Alexander Hamilton is. He's sitting on the tan couch, which felt expensive but was very comfortable, with a large glass of red wine. He was still in his suit, well for the most part. His jacket was on the desk chair and the tie which was once tight was now hanging loosely around his neck, along with the first two buttons undone. 

Thomas had told Alexander not to drink too much wine, as it would be better if he was sober for this, but Alexander didn't want to be sober. He wanted to drown himself in the expensive wine but caught the look his boyfriend gave him and agreed to be sober for the conversation.

A knock broke the three from their own respective thoughts, and the door was opened to see Aaron and Eliza standing there. Thomas had, of course, texted the three the room number a few hours ago, and now all three of their friends were sitting around the hotel room with a glass of wine, it was time to start telling the truth. 

"Alright, now I'm pretty sure you all have heard the rumour of me cheating on Thomas?" All three nodded, and Thomas laced his fingers with Alexander's. "Well, I didn't cheat." 

Lafayette interrupted and said, "But Thomas and James told me that you admitted it. That you said yourself that you cheated on him." Alexander nodded and took a drink from his wine. "I know. And that's because I did say that. Though, I was kinda forced, in a way at least." Thomas looked down in guilt, and when he felt Alexander lightly squeeze his hand, he took a drink of his own wine.

"Anyways, it was Saturday night a week or so ago, I actually think it was a little bit more than a week ago. Whatever, I went out dancing with John Laurens. Normal until we start dancing together. He," Alexander paused, and looked down before taking a deep breath, "He had a boner, to say the least." Alex let out a little chuckle, which let Thomas know he could as well. He hadn't been told that John had a boner when they were dancing together. "It was weird, so I pulled away. We then went to the bar to get some drinks."

Lafayette took a sip of his own wine whereas Eliza and Aaron hadn't even touched theirs. "John had ordered me this supposedly really strong vodka, and the bartender noticed my reaction apparently. He gave me some water instead and John was paying explicit attention to my reaction. I faked it and drank the rest of my water. My reaction was good enough for John, and we went back to my home."

Alexander said. Now was the hard part, and took a big gulp of his wine and winced when he swallowed. "Now, my home is always open to my friends, so when he asks to stay over, I don't question anything. I got upstairs to get him some clothes and I let him follow me."

Eliza seemed to get the gist of what happened, and her eyes widened as she took her first sip of wine, and it wasn't a small one either. Alexander can't blame her: finding out one of your closest friends was raped by another close friend only to be accused of cheating. Aaron just looked down at his glass of wine and didn't say anything.

"I get out this shirt for him, and I turn around, only to be greeted with a slap to the face. He said that I wanted him because I danced with him sexually, and got mad when I told him I was with Thomas. H-He said Thomas doesn't even love me," Thomas interrupted and said, "Which is a total lie." Alexander smiled and said, "Yes, it is. Anyways, he claimed that he could love me so much better than Thomas." 

"Again, a total lie!" Thomas said, and Alex smiled and took a small sip of his wine. "He, um, dragged me over to my bed and I managed to get away twice, but he caught me each time." He ran his eyes over everyone's facial reactions. Lafayette was pissed, Eliza was shaking and Aaron seemed calmed, but Alexander noticed he had tears in his eyes. "John told me to sit still and enjoy it, or else it would hurt even more. Though I kept screaming and protesting, so I guess he got fed up."

Alexander saw Thomas crying and noticed Eliza was now as well, though she was still shaking. "He punched me twice more, and I made myself black out in attempts to make it hurt so much less." He pulled out his phone and opened the messages from Laurens, as they had yet to actually change his number. "Friday morning I was in a cabinet meeting with Thomas when I get a message. John said, _'hey baby, i was thinking we could do that again sometime? i mean, thomas is out of the picture now, isn't he?_ '"

Eliza gasped and Aaron's tears finally fell. The man let out a choked sob and quickly finished his wine in an attempt to ignore the pain he felt for Alexander.

"George sees me freak the fuck out and asks if everything is okay. I lie and say its all good when I get another message. Only this one says, ' _god, the sex was fucking amazing baby. seeing you cry and hearing you scream. let me know when we should meet up again._ '"

Alexander himself was crying, as the only person who wasn't fully crying was Lafayette. He had more anger than sadness as of right now, but nonetheless, tears were in the Frenchman's eyes. He locks his phone and put in back in his pants pocket"I don't know how, but I ended up throwing my phone, and it lands in front of Thomas. He picks it up and reads the messages. Long story short, I get a phone thrown at me and I'm being called a slut."

He let out a weak chuckle while squeezing the hand in his, letting Thomas know that he forgives him. "I get pulled out of my office by the one and only James Madison and I almost have a panic attack. George calls me over and we talk. I tell Thomas everything, and we gonna sell the old house. I'm trying to get a restraining order against John and I'm going to be changing my number soon."

The room is deadly silent; Eliza is shaking with tears falling down her face, though it seems as if she had calmed down a little bit. Aaron was trying to make his crying quiet and Lafayette looked like he could kill a bitch. No one spoke a word. The only sounds were the air conditioning and crying.

Alexander said, "So, no. I didn't cheat. I was raped. People assumed shit." Thomas let out a loud sob and quickly covered his mouth, which meant tearing his hand away from his boyfriend's grasp.

Lafayette stood up and yelled, "I'm going to fucking kill that man!" Alexander stood up quickly as well and placed a hand on Lafayette's chest. He said in a calming tone, "Laf, you don't need to do that." Lafayette pushed his hand away and said, "Yeah, I don't _need_ to, but I _want_ to!" Alexander then grabbed his bicep when the tall Frenchman went for the door. "Lafayette, don't." 

"Why the hell not?!" Lafayette yelled. Alexander winced and pulled the hand off of Lafayette. He said, still in a calm tone, "Do not yell at me Lafayette." Lafayette nodded and wiped away his tears. "Killing him will do no good." Lafayette still looked pissed but he walked back over to the couch. "If anything, he doesn't deserve to die." Lafayette raised an eyebrow sharply. "He deserves to rot in prison if anything. But he will not, as I'm not turning him in. I _can't_ turn him in." 

Eliza shakily spoke up, "W-Why can't you turn him in?" Alexander bitterly said, "My boyfriend and I work for the United States Government. We are both secretaries and we got a bunch of shit for being together. Imagine how much hate and sympathy I'd get when news gets out that I, Alexander Hamilton, Secretary of the Treasury, was raped by one of my best friends." Eliza and Lafayette nodded. 

Thomas turned to Aaron, who was still crying. "Hey man, you alright?" Aaron shook his head and tried to level his breathing. "A-Alexander, I-I should, I should have s-said something! I-I saw you were hurt, and I did n-nothing!" The younger immigrant stood up and walked over to Aaron. He opened his arms and Aaron quickly hugged him. Alexander rubbed his back and said, "Aaron, if anything, I respect that. Everyone messaged me trying to figure out what the hell happened, and it wasn't their business. Thank you for respecting my boundaries."

"But you were hurt! You were in pain! I should have said something..." He trailed off, as the rest was incoherent due to Alexander's chest being in the way.

-

_One Year Later..._

Aaron quickly agreed to take on the case and got Alexander a restraining order against John Laurens. Thomas and Alexander had actually gotten his number changed the weekend that followed the talk with Eliza, Aaron and Lafayette. Thomas and Alexander finally moved into their new house, and they got a top of the grade security system. They never had their home open to their friends anymore, and it was confusing to those who didn't know the story.

Eliza agreed not to tell either of her sisters the true story, but one month after he told Eliza and the others, Angelica confronted him when he was leaving, and she knew something was up. First, he and Thomas were inseparable. Then, they never opened their house to friends anymore. She finally snapped when Alexander texted her his new address. He had given her the short version of the story, that someone had raped him in their house. She hugged him and it was never discussed again.

Oh! And James kept pestering Thomas and Alexander about their relationship when Thomas finally snapped himself. He told James to get his head out of his own ass and accept the fact that they were dating again. Needless to say, James felt like utter shit and quickly apologised to both men and didn't even bother questioning their relationship anymore. 

He finally followed Aaron's rule: if it's not your business, stay the hell out of it.

Alexander and Thomas had been going strong for over a year when Thomas proposed. He made a long ass speech which left the Alexander Hamilton speechless. Alexander just nodded his head and kissed his future husband. The wedding was set for July 16th, and they couldn't be happier.

And no, as much as Lafayette wanted to kill John, he never did.


End file.
